Life of the Anxious girl...

Well, its been one day shy of five weeks since surgery, recovery is slow but it's getting better as the days go on. I wanted to write this particular blog to let you know some things I wish I had known before the surgery and about the recovery process and some advice from me that might also help you!  Let's start off with some questions to ask your surgeon: 1. How long is the surgery 2. How long is the hospital stay 3. What should I expect in the coming days? 4. What are the types of surgery offered to me? Da Vinci, Laparoscopic, Abdominal, or vaginal. 5. Can I have my prescriptions filled before my surgery day? 6. How do you plan to expel the extracted organs? 7. How soon can I do normal daily things after surgery? 8. What types of over the counter medications should I expect to need? 9. Will you be gluing, stitching or stapling my incisions. 10. What should I expect in the hours leading up to my surgery? I also suggest you make a list of questions you want to ...

Hysterectomy....boy what a word, scary for most women, but for me its a lifesaving word.     Let's start from the beginning way back in Feb. 2008, one of the best days of my life, but little would I know it would turn into much more than a life-changing decision. On February 6th, 2008, my son, last baby was born via a planned cesarian, also on this day I opted for "permanent" birth control, having my tubes cut tied and burned, a decision that seemed so small, but boy it sure wasn't. That surgery would all to quickly turn out to be one of the worst decisions of my life.    Within days of having the tubal, I knew something was wrong. I passed clots, bled large amounts, and the pain was indescribable. This is something I would deal with off and on for the next 11 years. If there was a test to have done, birth control to take, or a temporary solution we tried it. Some would work for a few months, some weeks, some not at all. Eleven years I spent feeling l...

  As the days go on, as I sit and watch and wait, I cant help but wonder why, when, how long...   Days seem to pass so slowly, yet so fast at the same time. Watching a life slowly slip away, trying to cherish every moment, remember every small detail, the way her eyes look, the way her smile is, the wrinkles on her forehead, the way her hair blows with the fan,  the gentleness of her touch, the way her voice sounds, everything. I want to remember it all.   I sit and wonder is today the last time I'll here her say "goodnight, I love you". The uncertainty drives me crazy. The desire to know when, is one that haunts me. Seeing her have a good day, doesn't make me happy like it should, because I know the end result remains the same... Good days are nothing more than days, days that we count as she slowly passes away.   I don't want to loose my mom, I don't wanna kiss her goodbye, I don't want to know what it's like to miss her, not get phone calls, ...

    Yup the title sums it up. We have all had it happen at one point in our lives, and well I am going through the exact steps now.      A friend, a best one...OR so I thought. Lets take a moment to see an exact definition of the word friend shall we..." a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations." https://www.google.com/search?q=Defination+of+friend&oq=Defination+of+friend&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.4281j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8#q=Defination+of+friend      A friend to me is: * Someone who is there for you * Someone you can count on * Someone who cares about  you, and you equally care about them * Someone whom you put as a priority in your life.    In my honest opinion it takes a special kind of someone to be considered a friend rather than an acquaintance, I consider myself to have a ton of acquaintance...

     You know the song, "mama said they'll be days like this" well boy was she right, the kind of day that starts of perfect and BAM, someone/something comes along and its changed in an instant. Well that's exactly how my day has gone.      So i sit here, alone, in the dark, with a computer and a really really old episode of a  Garth Brooks concert on GAC. Bored out of my ever loving mind, but yet have not an ounce of motivation to carry me though. The bed looks mighty nice, but I have kids, and its the weekend, so that is so far from an option. So I choose to come here and vent my frustrations to you guys. So grab a snack and get comfy, today is going to be one bitchy ride.       So its Saturday, one more day left in the kiddo's spring break, one more day of sleeping in, one more day of late nights, one last time to spend with my kids before they have to get back on the daily grind. What does my husband decide to do? Thats right, in...

Anxiety. We all have it, but we all cant control it. This is my journal, my daily life. What is anxiety?       anx·i·e·ty 1 . a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. https://www.google.com/search?q=anxiety+definition&oq=anxi&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j0j69i59j69i61j0l2.2961j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8 What are symptoms of anxiety?    Because each person has a unique chemical make up, the type, number, intensity, and frequency of anxiety symptoms will vary from person to person. For example, one person may have just one mild anxiety symptom, whereas another may have all anxiety symptoms and to great severity. All combinations are common.      Below is a list of "common" symptoms of anxiety: http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml?gclid=CKLwyvrqqbwCFdHm7Aod_iEAnA       I feel that...